


Beneath Your Perfect

by bibliophileemily



Category: Tales of Series, Tales of the Abyss
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial of Feelings, Developing Relationship, F/M, Feelings Realization, Grief/Mourning, Post-Canon, Rare Pairings, Second Chances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:35:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22920058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bibliophileemily/pseuds/bibliophileemily
Summary: A grieving Natalia finds comfort in her friendship with an unlikely person. Ginji just wants to make his princess smile again.Is love after heartbreak really possible? Does either of them dare to find out?
Relationships: Ginji/Natalia Kimlasca-Lanvaldear, past Asch/Natalia
Comments: 12
Kudos: 3
Collections: Tales Big Bang 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You know how sometimes you make a crack ship, and then you start shipping it for real, and then it becomes one of your OTPs?  
> That's what happened here.  
> This fic is several years in the making, and I'm excited to finally put it out there for people to read.

Three months could last an eternity or pass in the blink of an eye.

It had been exactly three months since Luke had freed Lorelei and disappeared, three long months of nonstop replica aid, rebuilding, and charity projects that filled the life of the princess of Kimlasca-Lanvaldear.

Natalia forced herself to keep busy. She had to keep going; if she stopped, she would have to face reality, and reality was too terrifying. 

That day, she somehow found herself with half an hour between meetings, so she took her bow and went to the garden she used to practice archery.

Guy had devised a brilliant moving target system for her that she started up now. After so many years of using it, the movements were familiar, and she shot arrow after arrow without missing a single target. The problem with familiarity was that her mind was free to wander. Realizing this, Natalia went over her schedule for the coming week.

Tomorrow, she was hosting a charity luncheon for the Replica Relief Fund. After that, she was visiting sick children in the hospital, and then--

She couldn't remember what was scheduled next. Surely there was something after that?

She hit another target, then reached back to find her quiver empty.

"Natalia?"

She swung around, ready to smack the intruder with her bow, but she lowered it once she recognized her.

“Tear!”

"I'm sorry I startled you," Tear explained. "I know I wasn't supposed to arrive until tomorrow, but I got here early. Your maid said I could find you here."

Of course; that’s what she had forgotten. Natalia was meeting with Tear tomorrow evening to discuss the planned reforms to the Order of Lorelei. She sighed in relief that the time was already accounted for. 

"I'm so glad to see you,” Natalia said. “How long ago did you arrive? Are you hungry?"

"I've just come from the port. I haven't checked into the inn yet."

"The inn? Nonsense! You'll be staying in the castle with me." Natalia took Tear's arm. "I'll take you there before I have to go."

"You have something you have to do now?" Tear asked. "It's almost evening."

"My duties as a princess demand a busy schedule."

Tear looked unconvinced. "Natalia, is everything all right?"

Natalia hesitated. If anyone could understand her plight, it would be Tear. 

Tear had lost so much over the past few months, yet she never betrayed her heartache. She was too good a soldier to openly show her feelings. But that was where the problem was. Tear still had feelings to hide. Natalia had none at all.

"I'm fine, just busy," Natalia lied. "Let me show you to your room."

Once Tear was settled, Natalia went to her room to dress for her next engagement, a banquet honoring the latest Coliseum winners. It wasn't her ideal evening activity, but she hadn't been able to find anything else to fill her time for tonight.

Her maid entered, but without the dress Natalia had picked out for the event.

"Ami, where is--"

"Princess, the banquet has been cancelled for tonight."

"What?"

"One of the victors was arrested for sending another champion to the hospital. With both honorees unable to attend…"

Natalia felt like the room was running out of air. She was already struggling to breathe.

"Find me Tear Grants."

* * *

Tear cooked dinner, for old time's sake. Natalia pretended to watch so she could learn the recipe, but she had trouble focusing. Being with Tear brought back memories that she had long tried to suppress. Remembering was difficult, too difficult, especially when she thought of one person in particular.

"Dinner is served," Tear said, ladling miso stew into small bowls. She handed one to Natalia, then gasped. "Natalia? What's wrong?"

Natalia realized her eyes were full of tears. "My, how strange… I didn't even notice."

Tear didn't need to ask when things were obviously not all right. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Once Natalia started talking, it was hard to stop. She talked about how much it hurt finding out she wasn't truly the princess, how frightened she was to learn Largo was her biological father, how useless she felt when Luke disappeared.

"And Asch?" Tear asked gently.

Natalia froze. "I don't feel anything. At first, I was so devastated, I couldn't move. But now…” She swallowed, hesitating to confess her shameful secret. “I feel empty. Hollow. It’s like I have no feelings at all, and--" She bit her lip. She didn't dare finish the sentence out loud, but she couldn't help thinking,  _ Sometimes I wonder if that means I never truly loved Asch. _

Tear put her hand on Natalia's arm. "It's not uncommon to feel numb after a great loss. It's how I felt when we first defeated Van. It thought my heart had been squeezed dry."

"I don't know how much longer I can endure this," Natalia sighed. "That's why I keep so busy."

Tear smiled. "You're strong, one of the strongest people I know. You'll get past this, but you shouldn't push yourself." She thought for a moment. "Why don’t you come with me tomorrow to Yulia City? A break would do you some good."

"I couldn't possibly; I'm far too busy!"

"How many of your activities are absolutely necessary?"

Natalia thought for a moment. "I'll clear my schedule."


	2. Chapter 2

Most people wouldn't consider a week spent in Yulia City a vacation, but for Natalia, it was a welcome relief. For the first time in months, she was anonymous and unimportant with no responsibilities. She and Tear spent their days relaxing in Tear’s flower garden or watching the sea from the port. They spent hours reminiscing about the past year and their adventures together. Luke came up in conversation often, but they never spoke of Asch.

Natalia preferred it that way. Other than her breakdown in Batical, she hadn’t talked about him once since Eldrant. Every time she thought of him, her lack of emotions frightened her. 

When she was a child, things were simple. She loved the first Luke fon Fabre, _her_ Luke. He was her future husband, her oldest friend, and the love of her life. She knew this as surely as she knew she was born a princess.

But then she wasn’t a princess, and her Luke was now Asch, and Natalia realized she didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t anymore. And just when she thought she had a grasp on it, Asch died without saying goodbye.

She clearly remembered that moment: sinking to her knees, unable to move; the flash of the arte activating; soaring through the sky as Luke carried her to safety; the stinging slap Jade gave her to snap her out of it. Had she stopped feeling before or after that slap?

Tear told her it was OK to grieve in her own way, that numbness was a valid reaction to grief, but Natalia couldn’t believe that, not when she was questioning everything she’d ever felt. 

* * *

Natalia expected Noelle to fly her back in the trusty Albiore II, but instead, it was Ginji, piloting the new Albiore IV, who arrived to take her to Batical. She was more surprised than she let on; she’d only met Ginji a few times. 

“Good morning, princess,” he said, extending a hand to help her board. “Noelle has a cold, so she asked me to pick you up today.” He was cheerful and had a friendly face, so Natalia didn’t hesitate to take his hand. 

She waved at Tear through the window, then strapped herself into her seat. She registered Ginji’s greetings and made the appropriate responses, but she wasn’t really present. Her mind was on the water below them, reminding her of the many times she’d looked out at the sea and remembered a promise that could never be fulfilled.

“Princess? Everything OK?”

“Hm?” Natalia was snapped back into reality. “I’m sorry; could you repeat that?”

Ginji chuckled. “I was just asking if you’d rather fly in silence. I’m used to chatty passengers, so I made the mistake of assuming you’d want to talk too.”

Natalia felt like something was squeezing her chest, making it difficult to breathe. “You mean Asch?”

“Yeah, him.” Ginji’s smile was small and sad. “I didn’t realize how quiet it would be after…” He didn’t finish the sentence; he didn’t have to. He cleared his throat and went on. “Asch didn’t really look like the talkative type, but the truth is, he never shut up.” 

“That’s what I’ve heard. Noir and the others said he was always talking about Van and Luke and…” Natalia caught herself before she said “me.” She had always wondered exactly what Asch had said about her, but it was impossible for her to ask... wasn’t it?

“Um,” she began, but Ginji didn’t hear her.

“Batical’s in sight. Would you prefer for me to land at the port or up by your castle?”

“By the castle?” Natalia was shocked. “Wouldn’t that be dangerous?”

“Isn’t there a garden up there?”

“Well, yes, but not one large enough to land an airship! Honestly!” Natalia couldn’t help sounding a little haughty; Ginji may have been a risk-taker, but there were limits. “Landing at the port will suffice.”

“As you command.”

The moment he said the words, Ginji did a barrel roll and swooped into a nosedive, causing Natalia to let out a small scream. He pulled up just in time to land smoothly in the water and coasted to the dock.

“Was that really necessary?” Natalia gasped. 

“I guess not,” Ginji said with a grin. “But you’ve got to admit it was fun.”

Natalia managed a small smile back. Now that she’d caught her breath, she privately thought he was right, but she decided not to say anything. She certainly didn’t want to condone that kind of behavior.

As he helped her out of the Albiore, Ginji took her hand in both of his.

“You know, I spent a lot of time with Asch. Pilot a guy around long enough, you pick up on a few things. If you ever have anything you want to ask me, feel free to write.”

Natalia was touched; she had no intention of taking him up on his offer, but she appreciated it nonetheless. “Thank you, Ginji. That’s so kind of you.” 

Before he let go, Ginji gave her hand a gentle squeeze. Natalia was surprised that she could feel the warmth of his hands through her gloves. 

When she reached the castle, she saw the flying machine soaring in the distance and somehow, her heart felt a little lighter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art for this chapter was drawn by the wonderful SymphoniaLauren! Click [here](https://tales-of-big-bang.tumblr.com/post/611362750381391872/art-by-symphonialauren-for-the-big-bang) to see it.

Dear Ginji,

I hope this letter finds you well.

I’ve picked up and put down my quill several times now. I didn’t realize how difficult this would be to write.

You spent more time with Asch in the last months of his life than I did. There’s so much I want to know, but I don’t know how I’ll begin to ask.

I’ll end this letter here, or it will never be sent.

\---Princess Natalia Luzu Kimlasca-Lanvaldear

* * *

Ginji read the letter twice before tossing it on his desk.

He didn’t regret offering his help with remembering, but the letter still took him off guard. It was cold, almost clinical, with none of the questions he’d expected from a heart looking for answers. He’d expected heartbreak, not numbness. 

At the same time, he remembered when his grandpa and Tamara had died. His grief had been an explosion of angry tears, but Noelle withdrew, holding her feelings inside and refusing to talk about it. Maybe that was what was going on with Natalia.

Regardless, answering specific questions would have been much easier for him. Asch talked a lot more than most people would think, and Natalia was his favorite subject. Ginji had learned all sorts of trivia about the princess: she loved cheese, read a lot in her free time, started archery lessons because it wasn’t fair that Luke got to use a sword and she didn’t. He didn’t know her well personally, but through Asch, he had a pretty good picture of her character. Definitely a good enough picture to know that as much as she was pretending to be strong and that everything was OK, on the inside, she was anything but. But there was no way he could ever bring that up with her...

Maybe Noelle would have some advice. Ginji decided he’d ask her about it when she got back from Daath and answer the letter after that.

* * *

Princess Natalia,

I am doing well, thanks. Noelle and Aston say hi.

Flying with Asch was pretty chill. He talked a lot, but he didn’t really expect me to join in. I figure he had a lot to complain about, given how his life was, so I just shut up and let him do it.

He mostly talked about his plans: how he had to stop Van, had to stop his replica from doing stupid things, had to protect people.

He did talk about you, if you were wondering.

\---Ginji

* * *

Natalia almost missed the letter tucked in among her official correspondence. She knew it had to be from Ginji; she didn’t recognize his handwriting, but it was exactly as she imagined it would be: bold and slightly rushed, like he had his attention focused on the next sentence before he’d finished the first one. 

She was grateful Ginji had brought up the subject she couldn’t bring herself to ask about. Not for the first time, she wondered why Asch was so quick to talk _about_ her rather than _to_ her. She wanted to know what he’d said and thought about her more than anything. 

She pulled out a sheet of parchment and began her response.

* * *

Dear Ginji,

Thank you for answering my letter so quickly. Please give my love to Noelle; it’s been too long since I’ve seen her. 

Thank you for telling me about what Asch talked about. The hardest part of losing him is the lack of closure. I wonder if knowing more about his final hours would help.

You’re the last person on Auldrant who saw him before he died. Do you remember much of that day? I’m so sorry to ask--I’m sure the memories must be painful--but it would be some comfort to know what he was thinking that morning.

Yours,

Princess Natalia

* * *

Ginji remembered that day as clearly as if it was yesterday.

Asch had stumbled back onto the Albiore a few hours before dawn, waking Ginji in the process.

“Asch, what the hell?” he groused. “What are you doing?”

“Shut up and go back to sleep,” Asch snapped, shutting and locking the hatch.

“Did you go somewhere?” Ginji took in Asch’s disheveled appearance and the smell of sweat and dirt. “You went out, didn’t you? You went out and left me all alone!”

“Nothing happened, OK? Get off my case!”

Ginji was pissed. If Asch left, then the hatch was unlocked while he was gone. Asch tried so hard to pass himself off as a mature, logical person, but when he did stupid stuff like this, Ginji wanted to shake him and point out how young he actually was. How stupid could he be to leave Ginji and the airship in danger?

“What was so important that you’d leave the night before we go attack that Eldrant thing?”

Asch grunted a non-answer that only made Ginji madder.

“If you’re going to put my life in danger, at least tell me why you did it! I don’t mind the risk, but dammit, I need to know it was for a good reason!”

“Shut up!” Asch exploded. “It’s none of your business! There was something I had to take care of, and I did it. Now leave me alone!”

Asch threw himself on his sleeping cot, disregarding his filthy clothing.

Ginji stared at him; he was still angry, but there was no point in pursuing the topic. There was no getting through to Asch when he was like that.

As for where he’d gone, Ginji wasn’t stupid. They were only a few kilometers away from Chesedonia, where Noelle and the rest of them were. Ginji had wanted to stay there too, but Asch threw such a fit about being in the same town as “that replica” that they landed away from the city. 

If he wanted to see Natalia, he could have just asked. Ginji wouldn’t have minded flying him over. 

Now, Ginji wondered if Asch really had met with Natalia that night. Only she knew, and he didn’t dare ask about such a private memory. He hoped they had been able to meet; that way, Natalia had a sweet moment she could cling to.

 _But even a good memory can bring pain_ , he thought. He didn’t want the princess to suffer anymore. He wanted to see her smile, a true smile and not the polite one she’d been wearing lately. 

With that in mind, he wrote his next letter.

* * *

Princess Natalia,

Noelle has had a lot of work in Grand Chokmah, so she’s flying the Padamiya-Sylvana route there now. I’ve taken over the Chesedonia loop for her, so if you see an airship passing over Batical, it's probably me.

That day… It’s hard to talk about. Asch knew your mission began at noon, so we were ready to go by mid-morning. He wanted to make sure we got to Eldrant before anyone else did.

We were waiting in the sea below it when it moved to attack you. That’s when I noticed the break in the anti-aircraft fire and decided to ram the guns. Asch didn’t realize what I was doing at first, so he was yelling at me until we got through. He stopped to ask if I was OK, then he left without looking back. I get the feeling he knew he wasn’t going to make it to tomorrow…

I’m sorry. It’s all I remember.

\--Ginji

* * *

Natalia was in the garden when the shadow of the Albiore passed over her. She called for a maid.

“Take this down to the pilot,” she said, passing her a note. 

The maid bowed. “Right away, Your Highness.”

All she had to do now was wait for Ginji to get her message.

* * *

Ginji rode the elevator all the way up to the castle. It was his first time going all the way up to the top of Batical, and he was nervous. 

He clutched the note from Natalia like a talisman, the only proof he had that he’d been invited to the castle.

He wondered what she wanted. He hadn’t received a reply from his last letter to her, and he worried he’d said more than he should have. Maybe Natalia wanted to tell him not to write anymore…

 _No, that’s ridiculous_ , Ginji thought. _That’s too much trouble, and besides, Natalia isn’t like that._

The guards at the front of the castle directed him to the throne room. He climbed the stairs, hoping Natalia would be waiting for him at the top. What would he say if he went inside and only the King was waiting?

“Ginji!”

He turned at the sound of Natalia’s voice. She waved to him from the bottom of the stairs.

“You’re earlier than I thought you’d be. My intention was to meet you at the castle doors,” she said. 

“Sorry. I didn’t want to be late.”

“I’m the one who should apologize. I assumed it would take you longer to come here; I should have expected you sooner.”

“So what did you need from me?” Ginji was still on edge since he had no idea what Natalia wanted.

“I wanted to invite you for lunch.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” She took his arm to lead him. “I’ll show you to the garden terrace; we can talk there.”

As they sat down to eat, Natalia spoke first.

“I’m sorry I didn’t respond to your letter sooner. I thought it would be easier to talk in person.”

“I understand. The subject matter was pretty heavy. I’m sorry.”

“Please don’t apologize. I asked for that information.” Natalia stared off into space. She’d asked for the truth, yes, but it was still difficult to take in. Asch had known his days were numbered; why hadn’t he told her? Natalia would never understand why he hadn’t confided in her.

Ginji watched her zone out. She did this a lot, he was noticing, and whatever she was thinking couldn’t be happy.

“Can I suggest something a little unusual?” he asked.

Natalia snapped out of it. “Huh?”

“Could we get our lunch packed up to go?”

“Well, we could, but why?”

“I’m going to take you on a flight.”

“What? But I couldn’t possibly! I have so much scheduled for tomorrow, and--”

“But not for today, right?” Ginji grinned.

Natalia frowned. “Well, no, but--”

“I’ll have you back by tonight. Come on.” He held out his hand.

“You’re really quite impulsive, aren’t you?” Natalia shook her head. If only she had the kind of freedom Ginji had, to do whatever she pleased whenever she could.

The offer was tempting. It would be horribly irresponsible for her to go, and yet, she felt powerless to resist, like iron drawn to a magnet. 

She took his hand. “Where are we going?”


	4. Chapter 4

Ginji landed the Albiore in the tricky section between the cliffs outside of Nam Cobanda Isle. The circus tent top of the building was barely visible, but Ginji felt a pang when he saw it. He’d only been here once since Asch died. 

He pushed that thought away; this trip wasn’t for him. He reminded himself of the happy times he’d had here. 

“You deserve a break,” he said, leading Natalia inside. “So why not have some fun at the best place for it I know?”

“Oh, this is the Dark Wings’ hideout, isn’t it?” Natalia said as she recognized the place. “I’ve been here before.”

“Then you know we’re in for a great time!”

Natalia let herself be swept up in Ginji’s excitement. He showed her every hidden surprise, silly gimmick, and interactive plaything there. She couldn’t help catching his contagious enthusiasm.

“Did you come here often while you were working with Asch?”

“I did. This was our home base most of the time. So many good memories here.”

“I’m sure.” Natalia wished she could have witnessed some of those moments. She had so few memories of Asch doing anything other than scowling.

Ginji noticed her expression shift and nudged her with his elbow.

“Hey, let’s go play Dragon Buster, OK? I bet you can’t beat my high score.”

“Is that so?” Natalia crossed her arms, a serious expression on her face. “I should warn you that when I play games, I intend to win them, and I do not hold back.”

Ginji smiled. “Bring it.”

* * *

They were on their third hour of various games when Urushi realized Ginji was there.

“Oy, where’ve ya been this whole time? Were ya gonna come and say hi?”

“Hey, Urushi.” Ginji grasped his hand and clapped him on the back. “You know the Princess of Kimlasca, don’t you?”

“Please, ‘Natalia’ will do.”

Ginji blushed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be so formal.”

“No, Ginji. It’s all right. You’re always so polite.”

Urushi watched their back and forth like a game of handball.

“You twos got something going on?” he asked, blunt as usual.

“What? No!” Ginji blurted out. “I just took her here to get her mind off things.”

“Right. Well, I’m gonna go tell York and Noir you’re here. Don’t even think of leavin’ without sayin’ hello.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Ginji waved as Urushi left then turned to Natalia with a sheepish expression. “Sorry about that. He doesn’t really have a filter.”

“Hm?” Natalia was clueless. “I didn’t notice anything strange.”

Ginji sighed with relief; maybe it wasn’t the worst thing that Natalia was a bit on the spacy side.

“Let’s go meet the others.”

“No need,” Noir said as she came in, York and Urushi right behind her. “Naughty Ginji, coming to visit without telling us first.”

“Hey, guys.” Ginji gave hugs and handshakes. “It was a spur of the moment decision. Pr--Natalia needed a break, and I thought, ‘Where better to go?’”

“You know this is always your home away from home,” Noir murmured, her gaze sliding over to Natalia. “You both will be staying for dinner.” It wasn’t a question.

Ginji got roped into food prep duties which left Natalia to help with setting the table.

York and Urushi kept glancing at her and then at each other, which prompted her to speak up.

“You both spent a lot of time with Asch over the past year, didn’t you?”

York yelped, and Urushi jumped, but once they got past the awkwardness of talking about Asch, Natalia found herself immersed in all sorts of stories about him.

“Well, you know when we first met him, we just didn’t know what to think,” York said. “This smart-aleck hothead shows up and hires us to kidnap the Fon Master. Looking back, I’m surprised we went along with it.”

“He paid us, that’s why,” Urushi countered. “The weird stuff he made us do though… sometimes I wonder if the money was worth it. See, once Ginji got roped in, we could fly wheres-ever we wants, right? Asch still made us go all over Radessia on foot to find some rare material. We thought it was for some special potion. Turned out it was for keepin’ his hair stickin’ up like he always had it.”

“But he had his moments of bravery,” York added. “We were caught by a pack of ligers on the Ispanian peninsula. Asch took them all on single handed. Didn’t even get a scratch. It was amazing. I would have followed him anywhere after that.”

“I just remember how grumpy he was after that.” Urushi thought for a moment. “Actually, he was grumpy almost all the time.”

“And all he ever talked about was you, Princess” York said, suddenly shy. “He thought the world of you.”

“Yeah, always tellin’ us how ‘Natalia was so kind, so brave, so responsible.’” Urushi paused. “That kid really…” He stopped. “Oh, no, Princess; I didn’ mean to make ya cry!”

“Huh?" Natalia touched her cheek where the first few tears had begun to fall. "But I'm not sad! I'm…" She stopped, realizing that she was feeling something. For the first time since his death, Natalia thought of Asch and felt  _ something _ . It wasn't quite sadness, but a wistful longing, a nostalgic happiness. She couldn't fully describe it, but it didn't matter. The emptiness was gone.

"Please don't apologize," she said. "I really should be thanking you.”

York and Urushi exchanged a look, shrugged, and went on with their stories.

In the kitchen, Noir noticed Ginji watching Natalia and took advantage of their time alone. 

“So what’s going on with the two of you?” she asked him. “That _is_ the same  Natalia Asch was always talking about, right?”

“Yes, she is," Ginji said. "And nothing’s going on. We’re friends. Why would you even ask something like that?”

“No reason,” Noir continued, her tone implying that she had all kinds of reasons to ask.

“It’s not what you think. We write letters sometimes, so we can talk about Asch. She’s… well, she was Asch’s… she’s a princess!”

Noir crossed her arms. “Uh huh,” she said, completely unconvinced.

“Noir, I don’t know what you think is going on, but whatever it is, that’s not it.”

“If you say so.” She looked back over the counter to where Natalia was laughing, then looked at Ginji, and drew her own conclusions.

* * *

After dinner, they flew back to Batical, arriving just before midnight. 

Ginji walked Natalia back to the castle, not wanting to drop her off at the port and leave her to go back through the city at night unescorted. They were quiet, each thinking about their separate conversations. 

Natalia was still warm inside, remembering Asch and imagining the times he’d laughed. She missed him so much, it ached, but she welcomed the pain after months spent in an emotional desert.  _ And if it hurts like this, then I  _ must _ have loved him _ , she thought. 

Ginji, meanwhile, kept revisiting what Noir had said to him. Her implications were clear, but he had a hard time reconciling them with reality. Natalia was a princess. Noir should know better to imply anything could happen there.

They reached the castle sooner than he expected. At the door, Natalia took his hand and smiled.

“Thank you so much, Ginji. I can never repay you for everything you’ve done for me.”

"No need to thank me," he said.  _ Just seeing you smile is enough. _

The thought almost bowled him over; he couldn’t be thinking things like that. Natalia was Asch’s girl. The princess of his country. Off limits in every way possible. There was no way they could ever be together; there was no way he could even let himself think something like that.

“Ginji?” Natalia looked concerned. “Is everything all right?”

“Yeah, sorry. Everything’s fine. I just…” He looked at her. The last thing he wanted was to walk away, but he knew that if he didn’t go right now, he would never leave. “I’m just glad you had a good time.”

“I did. I’ll write to you again soon.”

“Sure.”

“Goodbye, Ginji.”

“Bye.”

If Natalia noticed his answers growing terse, she didn’t show it.

Ginji waited until she went inside the castle before taking the long way back to the port, skipping the air cars in favor of the stairs. He needed to clear his head.

He had to be overthinking this. It was all because Noir put this stupid idea in his head. There’s no way he was in love with Natalia.

He froze mid-step. He wasn’t in love with her... was he? 

When Ginji first met Natalia, she was among the party that rescued him off the cliff in the Meggiora Highlands. He’d noticed she was attractive, but he didn’t have time to dwell on that, considering he’d just narrowly escaped death. 

As he got closer to Asch and heard all about her from him, Ginji could imagine Natalia doing the noble deeds and kindnesses described, and he admired her for that, but it was always an admiration from afar. She was his ruler, and he liked the job she was doing--nothing more.

Then they met in person a few times. He was always impressed by her poise. And as they grew closer, he became enamored with her foibles. 

Ginji always read her letters at least twice, feeling he learned more about her just through her word choices and handwriting quirks. 

_And her smile…_ Every time she smiled, he felt warm, bathed in light. 

_Oh, no._ Ginji sank onto a bench, his head in his hands. Noir was right. He  _ was _ in love with Natalia, and everything was ruined now.


	5. Chapter 5

An entire month went by. 

Ginji stuck to his flying route and continued with his everyday life in Sheridan. Natalia sent him two more letters, which were still sitting unopened on his desk. 

He couldn’t read them. If he did, he’d want to answer, and then he’d want to see her, and then…

He tried not to think about it, to distract himself with other things, but every day, as he flew various cargo and passengers to and from Chesedonia, his mind was fixed on those letters and the person who sent them. 

He’d been avoiding Noir on purpose, but he knew that couldn’t last. Sure enough, he came home one evening to find her sitting on his desk, one of Natalia’s letters between her fingertips. 

“Ginji, dear,” she said. “Don’t you know it’s rude to leave letters unanswered?”

“Is it any ruder than going through someone else’s personal belongings?” he snapped back.

“No need to be so touchy.” She placed the letter back on his desk. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I’ve been busy.”

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

Ginji didn’t answer. 

“Ginji, if nothing else, you know I’d never do or say anything to hurt you. Tell me what’s going on.”

He sighed in defeat and sank into a chair. “Why do you always have to be right?”

“I’m not. I just knew what I was seeing this time.” She touched Ginji’s shoulder; the warmth and weight of it reassured him. “What are you going to do?”

“What  _ can _ I do? She’s the princess, and I’m just a pilot from Sheridan. Forget “out of my league;” she’s out of my universe! I don’t stand a chance, especially not compared to Asch.”

Noir frowned. “Asch is dead.”

“I know. That’s the worst part. He was my friend. How could I betray his memory like that?”

“How are you betraying him? You’re not--”

“I fell for his girl!” Saying the words out loud made Ginji hot with shame. How could he have been so stupid? He wasn’t new to love. He knew what was real and what was pure fantasy. Not even in his dreams did he dare to imagine a relationship with Natalia. Even besides the class differences and his allegiance to Asch, there was the matter of Natalia’s feelings.

Asch hadn’t even been dead a year. It was disrespectful to think a few months was enough time to mourn him and move on.

“So you won’t say anything?” Noir asked. “You’re just going to ignore her from now on?”

“She’ll forget about me eventually. I’m not important enough for her to notice my absence.”

* * *

Natalia sat at her writing desk impatiently tapping her quill while she waited for the mail.

She was purposefully turned away from the window so that she could resist the temptation to look for an Albiore flying overhead.

Why wasn’t Ginji answering her letters? They’d had such a good time together at Nam Cobanda, but she hadn’t heard from him since.

Natalia racked her brain, reliving each moment they’d spent together, trying to remember if she’d done anything strange. She couldn’t imagine she’d done anything to offend Ginji, but if not, then why didn’t he write?

Normally, Natalia would be indignant about this sort of treatment, but she only felt sad. She missed Ginji’s banter, the silly doodles he’d draw on the envelopes, the kindness that radiated from his words…

A maid knocked at the door; Natalia set down her quill and rose from her seat. 

“Letters for you, Princess,” said the maid, offering a silver tray with a few envelopes on it.

“Thank you.” She was already disappointed. None of the envelopes bore Ginji’s handwriting.

She sat down to read what was there. A request for her attendance at a luncheon for the Batical Fashion Society, a thank you from the hospital for her latest visit, and a letter from Astor asking if she still needed monetary donations for the Replica Shelter and Rehabilitation Project (she did not, but she would send a thank you note anyway). 

She recognized Anise’s handwriting on a pink envelope and opened it with delight. Letters from Anise were full of gossip and often rude, and as much as Natalia pretended to hate them, she secretly loved them.

The letter contained the usual observations about life in Daath, but the main point was to invite Natalia to a surprise party for Florian.

“Florian’s never had a birthday party before,” she wrote. “And he doesn’t know when he was born, so I decided we should do it now! On Loreleiday, ShadowDecan 18, come to Daath so he can celebrate with all his friends!”

Natalia smiled; Anise really was a kind girl at heart. 

She wrote a quick reply, then wrote on the small scroll of paper used for carrier pigeons. 

“Could you get this to Sheridan right away?” she asked the maid, who promptly took it and disappeared. She hadn’t addressed her request for a pilot to Ginji directly, but surely if he saw this, he would be the one to fly her… wouldn’t he?

Three weeks later, Natalia waited at the port for the Albiore to arrive. She’d come to the dock early and was steadily growing more impatient. At the same time, though, she was nervous. What if she had indeed done something to offend Ginji? What if there was awkwardness between them?

Dwelling on this, she looked up to see an airship arriving. Instantly, her mood lifted. 

All this joy was dashed when she saw it was the Albiore II on its way.  _ Not Ginji _ , she thought as the airship landed.

“Hi, Natalia!” Noelle shouted as she opened the hatch and waved. Guy popped out from the loading ramp and came over to help Natalia with her bags.

“Guy! Well, this is a surprise! Noelle isn’t letting you fly the Albiore, is she?”

“She’s been giving me lessons, but I’m just a passenger today.”

“That’s a relief,” Natalia said with a smile.

“Hey!”

They got in the Albiore, and Noelle took off and headed for Daath.

After exchanging the usual pleasantries and catching up on what was going on with everyone, Natalia gathered up the courage to ask about Ginji.

“He’s doing OK,” Noelle answered. “Been keeping really busy, as far as I can tell.”

“I saw him last week, and he seemed like his usual self,” Guy added.

“Is that so?” Natalia was happy to hear Ginji was well, but it still disturbed her that she’d had no contact from him. Without meaning to, she drifted out of the conversation, absorbed in her own private worries.

Guy and Noelle noticed her disengage with some concern.

“Is she OK?” Noelle asked.

“No clue.” Guy looked over his shoulder at Natalia staring off into space. He knew she was still grieving--they all were--but she’d been hit especially hard with the loss of Asch. Even so many months later, was it too much to expect her to be back to her usual self? “Let’s keep an eye on her.”


	6. Chapter 6

Natalia hadn’t been to Grand Chokmah in months, which she thought was much too long, especially when Kimlasca and Malkuth’s peace was still so new and shaky. 

It was high time she paid a visit. It was the diplomatic thing to do. And it was _not_ , she told herself, at all an excuse to specifically request Ginji to fly her the long distance there.

Another month had passed since Florian’s party and another letter she sent remained unanswered. However, the carrier pigeon requesting the flight had come back with acceptance in Ginji’s handwriting.

Ginji arrived in the Albiore IV exactly on time. Natalia was waiting at the port. 

Both were unable to speak. 

Natalia was petrified that she had done something wrong to cause Ginji to pull away. 

Ginji was nervous about saying anything that might reveal his feelings. 

The first hour of flight, neither said a word. The tension between them made Natalia queasy, and Ginji kept wiping sweat off his forehead.

Finally, Natalia couldn’t take it anymore.

“What happened?” she said, her voice shaky. “What did I do that caused you to pull away?”

Ginji winced. He knew this conversation would come eventually, but that didn’t make it any easier. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Some personal stuff came up. I’ve just been busy.”

“So busy that you couldn’t write back to tell me?”

“So busy, I didn’t have time to read your letters.” Ginji kept his eyes fixed on the horizon. “I apologize for my rudeness, but it really couldn’t be helped.”

Natalia couldn’t form a reply. He didn’t even read her letters? What was going on? An unkind thought whispered that it was because she had used him, had only grown close to him to learn about Asch. She wanted to scream that that wasn’t true, but she couldn’t ignore the thought. Even if it wasn’t true, if Ginji believed that it was, then she’d still hurt him. How could she have been so stupid? She stared out the window, fighting back tears.

Another hour passed. Ginji’s mind was racing. He wanted to explain in a way that wouldn’t hurt Natalia, but he couldn’t bring himself to lie. Everything he could come up with sounded hollow. There was no way he could justify his behavior without betraying his affection. He shouldn’t have come. He should have sent Aston or begged Noelle to go instead, but Noelle was already suspicious of his behavior concerning Kimlasca, and he didn’t want to tip her off either.

The route from Batical to Grand Chokmah was a straight line northeast, but occasional storms would force a detour further east. Ginji checked his monitors as needed, and he visually confirmed a distant storm cloud brewing to the west, but with the stress of Natalia being there, he misread a crucial barometer reading.

Before he knew it, the aircraft started shaking, then rocking from side to side.

“What’s happening?” Natalia asked.

“Damn it, the storm was closer than I thought.” Ginji steered the Albiore east, but the storm had already surrounded them.

The turbulence was so strong, they were tilting almost 90 degrees. Lightning flashed just outside the cockpit, and Natalia screamed.

Ginji gunned the accelerator, trying to break out, but they hit an air pocket and the ship dropped a few meters straight down.

_Damn, damn, damn!_ Ginji was out of tricks. The Albiore was hardy, but it couldn’t handle a storm this bad. His only option was to make an emergency landing. 

“Hold on tight!” he told Natalia, who mutely nodded, her hands already locked onto her armrests. 

He’d had worse landings, but it was still a bumpy one as he steered the plane onto the island below them. The crunch of metal and a screech of scraping against rock didn’t bode well for the condition of the ship. 

As soon as the airship was still, Ginji sprang from his seat and jumped out of the cockpit to check the damage. Most of it was superficial damage, but one of the main thrusters was bent, and, even worse, the flightstone had been jarred out of place. He couldn’t repair that on his own, storm or no storm.

He swore quite creatively, cursing his rotten luck, as he reached for the flightstone.

Natalia appeared at the top of the Albiore and peered into the darkness, looking for Ginji. Instead, she saw something bigger. _Much_ bigger.

“Ginji, look out!” she cried, reaching for her bow and quiver.

Ginji turned to see a giant figure looming over him. He’d never seen a monster that huge that close before.

“Piercing Line!” Natalia’s arrow struck the monster in the eye. It roared and scampered away. “Ginji, hurry! Get back inside!”

Ginji grabbed the flightstone and hustled back up to the cockpit. 

“Great. Just what I needed today,” he muttered to himself as he swung back inside. He was already on edge with Natalia there, but now his black mood was making everything worse. 

Natalia noticed the flightstone as soon as he got in. Her heart sank; there was no way she would get to Grand Chokmah on time. Then again, she and Ginji were alone now. She had the chance to really talk to him. Perhaps she could find a way to reconcile with him and make up for any hurt she may have caused.

“Looks like we’re stuck here until the storm lets up,” Ginji said, breaking open the emergency kit he kept on board. He pulled out blankets and tossed one to Natalia. “I can repair the thruster well enough to be seaworthy, but not in this kind of weather.”

“Is there anything I can do?” Natalia asked.

“Maybe make us some food?”

“Um…” Natalia blanched. “What do you want me to make?”

Ginji checked the small box of rations. “I don’t have much. Here.” He handed her a carton of eggs. “Just boil a few. There’s a camp stove and pots here. I’m going to check the back for signal flares.”

Natalia approached the stove with trepidation. She knew what ‘boiling’ meant, and she had a pot and eggs. How hard could this be? She wasn’t so poor a cook that she couldn’t boil a few eggs, right?

Ginji took his time searching for the flares, trying to calm himself down. His mind was racing, imagining all sorts of interesting scenarios that could play out now that he and Natalia were alone together. He pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes, trying to focus. _Nothing is going to happen_ , he told himself. _She does not know. She will_ never _know. Just wait out this storm and get her to Grand Chokmah, and everything will be fine._

He came back to find Natalia heating a pot filled with eggs and nothing else. He stared dumbfounded for a few moments before reaching over and turning the stove off. “How long were they in there like that?”

“Ten minutes?” Natalia was burning with shame. She knew she’d done something wrong; she just didn’t know what. “I’m sorry. I can’t cook. At all.”

Ginji had to struggle to hold back a laugh. “It’s OK. I’ll take care of it.” He took the pot off the heat and added water to it. “I’m sorry I assumed. I should’ve realized you wouldn’t have much cooking experience.”

“I should have said something. I can make a few simple dishes, but I’ve never boiled eggs before.”

“Well, nobody got hurt.” He popped a lid on the pot. “And the eggs will be fine.”

“That’s one good thing.” Natalia was still too embarrassed to meet Ginji’s eyes. She hated looking foolish in front of anyone, but especially in front of the people she cared about. 

Sensing her discomfort, Ginji gave her some space while trying to think of something he could say to help her feel better. He hated seeing her so hard on herself. She didn’t have to be perfect all the time, especially not around him. He wished she would let down her guard and just be herself.

“It’s just me, you know,” he said finally. “And I won’t tell a soul. What happens on the Albiore, stays on the Albiore.”

Natalia laughed. “You’re sworn to secrecy then. I trust you.”

“You do?” He was somewhat surprised, not that she trusted him, but that she was willing to admit it.

“Of course. You’re--” She realized she wasn’t quite sure what category Ginji fit into. One of her subjects, yes, and a friend, but not quite on the level of the companions from her journey to save the world. But he was still very important. “You’re one of Asch’s friends, so I know you're a good person.”

She meant it sincerely, but bringing up Asch was like a knife in Ginji’s back. Was he really only Asch’s friend to her? 

“My, it’s still storming.” Natalia peered out the window. “We could be stuck here all day at this rate.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Ginji mumbled. 

“Hm? Did you say something?”

“No," he said. He was overthinking. Natalia would never intentionally hurt him--she wasn’t that kind of person. 

“Well,” she began. “Since we have nothing else to do, I should take advantage of this opportunity.” She sat across from him and gave him a determined look. “There are so many things I want to ask you now.”

“About Asch?”

“No. About you. Most of our correspondence has been about Asch or about me. I want to know more about _you_ , Ginji.”

Ginji perked up and met her gaze. He tugged his scarf loose; suddenly, it was a little too warm inside the cabin.

“I didn’t expect that,” he said with a laugh. “Ask away. I’m an open book.”

“How are you so brave?” Natalia asked, a little breathlessly. “You had the courage to fly when no one before you had, and then you continued to fly into danger.”

Ginji shrugged. “It’s worth the risk. The rush of takeoff, the view from the sky, the feeling of freedom… it’s worth it, one hundred percent. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared the first time I flew after the crash, but the thought of never flying again scared me more.”

“It’s strange to think of you being afraid of anything,” Natalia said.

“Everyone’s afraid of something.”

“Like what?”

Ginji thought for a moment. He knew his fears, but he had to think about whether or not to share them. “I’m guess I’m afraid of people getting hurt because of me.” 

Natalia leaned forward. “Go on. Please.”

He took a deep breath. “I’ve always been a little headstrong, believe it or not,” he said, provoking a giggle from Natalia. “I rush into things before I’m ready. It got me into all sorts of trouble as a kid. My grandpa would tell me, ‘Slow down, Ginji. Look before you leap, and think before you speak.’ He never took his own advice, so I didn’t either.”

Natalia laughed at that too. “You’re much like him. It must have been hard when Legretta…” She didn’t need to finish the sentence.

“Yeah… it was.” He stared at the floor, unpleasant memories surfacing again. “I was so angry at him then. I was right there in the Meeting Hall. I could have helped, but he locked me in. I was trapped in there, helpless to do anything.” He stopped, blinking back tears. “I know it’s not my fault. That Grandpa and Tamara chose to sacrifice themselves to keep us safe, but especially since then…” He closed his eyes. “I don’t ever want to see anyone get hurt because of me.”

“Of course you don’t,” Natalia said. “No one does. But don’t you worry about yourself?”

“Doesn’t everyone? I’m just not great at keeping myself out of trouble.”

“Somehow I find that easy to believe," she said with a laugh. After a moment, she prompted him again. "What sort of trouble?”

Ginji hesitated. “You might think less of me for this one.”

“Never.”

“...I almost got married once.”

“What?” Natalia felt something cold squeeze her heart; this story couldn’t have a good ending. “What happened?”

“I rushed things. As usual.” Ginji frowned, remembering his younger self. “I was so in love with her, I didn’t listen to my grandpa’s advice. We moved in together three months after we met.”

“Goodness!” Natalia pretended to be a little less surprised than she actually was. "That _is_ a little quick."

“Yeah, it was a terrible idea. I thought she was my soulmate, but it turned out I barely knew her. I was going to ask her to marry me, but she cheated on me after six months.” He sighed. Three years later, it still hurt to think about. “That was the end of that.”

“That’s awful. Anyone who would abandon you as a partner is a fool.” Natalia stared into his eyes, warm and trusting. Who could look into those eyes and then do such a despicable thing? “You’re one of the kindest men I’ve ever met.”

“You mean it?” he asked, genuinely surprised.

“I do.”

Ginji smiled. “Your approval of me means a lot.”

“My approval?” Natalia was indignant. “Whatever do you mean? What I’m trying to say is--” She stopped and listened. “Do you hear that?”

“I don’t hear anything. What were you going to say?” Ginji was beyond curious. 

“Exactly! Nothing! The storm’s stopped! We can repair the Albiore now.”

“Oh, right.” He tried to hide his disappointment. The moment was gone. “I’ll get right on it.”

* * *

It only took a few minutes to fix the thruster. Ginji whacked it back into place with a wrench while Natalia stood guard above him with her bow. 

Once the repairs were complete, Ginji steered the Albiore into the water and piloted it like a boat towards Grand Chokmah. 

When they reached the city, Natalia took Ginji’s hand in both of hers. 

“Thank you for sharing about yourself,” she said. “I hope you realize that you have become a dear friend to me.”

Ginji’s heart skipped a beat. “You mean a lot to me too.”

“Promise me you won’t ignore my letters from now on.”

Her eyes were so wide and hopeful; Ginji couldn’t refuse her. “I promise.”

“I hope I see you soon.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

He stood on the pier watching her as she walked toward the palace. Official-looking people ran to meet her, probably concerned about the delay, and escorted her away. 

He loved her. Every fiber of his being was screaming at him to go after her, but he wouldn’t. Her friendship was enough; even if he was willing to risk his own feelings, he couldn’t risk hurting her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to point out typos or little mistakes like that. I do go back and correct them!


	7. Chapter 7

After a pleasant week-long stay in Grand Chokmah, Natalia was ready to return home to her beloved Kimlasca. She was taking a ship to Batical so she could make a few stops in Kimlascan territory on her way back. 

The day of her departure, she had lunch with Guy and Jade. She hadn’t seen them since Florian’s birthday party, so she was able to catch up on all the latest goings-on with them. 

“You’d think I’d get a break now and then,” Guy complained. “But it isn’t Emperor Peony who’s wearing me out; it’s this guy right here.” He pointed at Jade, who pulled an innocent face.

“You wound me, Guy. I’m only trying to prepare you for a life of nobility.”

“In what sick way is this a preparation?”

Natalia smiled politely at their banter; she didn’t want to laugh when it was only a matter of time before Jade started teasing her. 

“I heard you had a rough time getting here,” Guy said. “Is that why you’re heading back by boat instead of air?”

“No, I scheduled the ship in advance, though Ginji and I did have a bit of an adventure. He had to make an emergency landing, and we waited out a storm for a few hours, but it wasn’t too trying.”

“A few hours?” A smug grin spread over Jade’s face. “Whatever did you two do to pass the time?”

“Jade, come on. Don’t ask something like that,” Guy scolded.

Natalia blushed as she realized what they were suggesting. “We’re just friends!” she said, a little louder than she intended to. 

“Of course you are,” Jade said. “I wouldn’t dream of implying otherwise.”

She was too flustered to reply. 

Jade took his leave then, citing work, but Guy hung around to see Natalia off. 

“How’ve you really been, Natalia? You seemed kind of out of it last time I saw you.”

“Did I?”

“Yeah. I just wanted to check on you and make sure you’re OK.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re sure?” Guy’s face was concerned. “Because if you need to talk about anything, you know you can talk to me anytime.”

Natalia had no idea what he was suggesting. “What would I need to talk about? Nothing’s wrong.”

“All right, if you’re sure. Just know you’re not alone. I miss him too.”

For a short moment, Natalia thought he was talking about Ginji. _But why would Guy miss him_ , she wondered, _and why would he think I'm missing him too?_

“Natalia?”

“You mean Asch,” she said, relieved that she’d figured it out. _Of course he meant Asch,_ she thought. _Who else would he mean?_ Coming back to reality, she patted Guy on the arm. “Thank you, Guy. You’re a good friend. But really, there’s nothing to talk about. I’m fine.”

The ship arrived, and Natalia took her leave, hiding her embarrassment as best she could. _Why did my mind jump to Ginji?_ she wondered. She had no reason to miss him; it hadn’t even been a week since she saw him last. 

She shook those thoughts away and headed for her cabin. 

* * *

After a two-week visit in Belkend, the ship left for Sheridan. Natalia waited on the prow, watching the rugged landscape of Radessia come into view. Sheridan held so many memories for her, many of them sad, but she was looking forward to seeing her friends there. 

As soon as she entered the city, she headed for the meeting hall to find them.

“Natalia!” Noelle ran forward and hugged her. “How are you?”

“Doing well, thank you.” She greeted Aston then looked around and realized Ginji wasn’t there. “Where’s Ginji?”

“He should be back from Batical later. He’s usually home in time for dinner,” Noelle explained. “You’ll be joining us for that, right?”

“Of course! I’d love to.”

After inspecting the new fon machines and greeting the people of the city, Natalia asked for some time to pay her respects in the graveyard where Iemon, Tamara, and the other citizens who had given their lives protecting her were buried. 

Standing alone before their tombstones, she closed her eyes to pray. As their princess, she was supposed to protect them; instead, they’d died protecting her. Ginji feared people getting hurt because of his actions; if Natalia let that burden her every time it happened, she’d be crushed with despair.

Instead, she made herself smile and said “thank you” through her tears. 

“It never gets any easier coming here,” Ginji said from behind her.

Natalia turned to him. “No, I don’t suppose it would.” She wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand. “I’m glad you’re home. It would have been sad to visit Sheridan and not see you here.”

“There’s no way I’d miss a royal visit,” Ginji teased. “What an honor, to see my future monarch in my own house.”

“Oh, please,” Natalia countered. “Don’t pretend you care about my status now. I’m just Natalia to you, and you know it.”

He made a mock bow. “Yes, Your Majesty.”

From behind them, Noelle watched as Natalia and Ginji continued on in that way. She backed away, not wanting to interrupt. Who knew the two of them were getting along so well now?

* * *

That night, Natalia couldn’t sleep.

She tossed and turned in bed before giving up and turning on the light. 

Something was bothering her, a strange thought at the back of her mind. She thought of writing to Tear, but when she sat at her desk, the words wouldn’t come. 

Finally, she dressed and headed outside. It was already cold, and the breeze chilled the air even more, yet she headed towards the sea. When she reached the lookout point, she stopped and looked out into the darkness. She couldn’t see the water, but she could hear the waves and smell the salt.

Almost one year ago, she’d stood here in front of the same sea, and she and Asch had renewed their promise.

She’d been afraid to come here sooner. She didn’t know if she would be overwhelmed with grief or too numb to feel. Now that she was finally here, she felt a quiet warmth in her heart, a bittersweet tenderness as she remembered her first love. 

The past year, Natalia had questioned everything she knew about Asch. Did she really understand him? Did she really love him or just the idea of him? So many times, she’d wondered if he had lived, would they be together now? 

She no longer had any doubts; she _knew_ she loved Asch. It was an innocent childhood love that grew and died too quickly, just like Asch had, but it was still real. They had little time together, but Natalia knew they’d done what they could with what they were given. _How much Asch must have been suffering,_ she thought. _Knowing he would die, knowing how much that would hurt me._ He’d pushed her away trying to lessen her suffering, and now, she could forgive him for it. 

And yet, she still felt restless. She looked up at the sky and wondered what it would be like to fly among the stars. She giggled, realizing that sounded like something Ginji would say.

_Ginji…_

The thought of him warmed her from head to toe. She could imagine him flying right now, faster than he should and loving every minute of the rush. 

She could never repay the gifts he’d given her. Because of him, she could finally feel again. Even now, she was giddy thinking about seeing him, wondering what they would talk about tomorrow.

Then she realized. 

_This is how I used to think about Asch_!

She leaned against the rail, mentally retracing her steps. She’d only loved one man her entire life, and she’d been engaged to him since she was two; she didn’t recognize the signs of falling in love until now. 

Every time she heard Ginji’s voice, her heart beat faster. She reread his letters to her and was upset when he didn’t write back. When their hands touched, she felt hot all over. 

Realizing this, she was at a loss. She didn’t know when or how or even _if_ she should tell. 

She stared out over the water she couldn’t see. If she thought logically, she knew she should go back to her room and try to get some sleep. There was no sense in acting rashly, and she could think clearly in the morning. But her heart was telling her to do something else.

She turned away from the water and looked toward the house behind the meeting hall where Ginji lived. _What would Ginji do?_ she asked herself, already knowing the answer.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Ginji woke up to a knock on his door. He stumbled out of bed and opened the door to find Natalia. 

“Natalia, what are you doing? Why are you awake?”

“I couldn’t sleep. Can we go somewhere in the Albiore?”

“You want me to fly somewhere _now_?” 

“Yes.”

Ginji rubbed his eyes. “Let me make some coffee first.”

She asked him to fly over the Highlands. Ginji was always a little nervous to fly over there, and right now, awake in the middle of the night, he was confused and worried. What did Natalia want? Why were they going there? A pulse of adrenaline made him woozy; whatever she wanted to say must be important.

“Right there, that’s the spot.” Natalia pointed to the exact cliff where Ginji had crashed last year.

“You want me to land there? You’re sure?” 

“I am.”

Ginji took a deep breath. Objectively, he knew the chances of him crashing there again were low, but with Natalia there, he needed to be especially cautious. He focused on the controls and initiated the landing procedure.

It was a perfect landing. He sighed audibly, relieved to have that part over with. 

Natalia had already unbuckled her safety restraint and was climbing out of the top hatch.

“What are you doing? It could be dangerous.”

“We’ll be fine. Come on.”

Once out of the airship, they were able to stand and see the vastness of the Meggiora Highlands surrounding them. The wind was quiet for once, and the harsh terrain was softened by moonlight. It was almost beautiful.

“Do you know where this is, Ginji?” Natalia asked, her eyes shining in the darkness.

“You mean, besides the place where I almost died?”

“Yes, besides that.” Her face was hot, and she took a deep breath to steady herself. “This is the place where we first met.”

Ginji was shocked by that realization. “That’s right. You were part of the rescue party that day. I guess I never thought about that before.” _Who knew she would remember something like that?_ he thought. _Could it be--?_ A spark of hope flared inside him. “Why did you want to come here?”

Natalia hesitated. She’d hadn’t rehearsed what she was going to say and found herself at a loss for words.

“I… I wanted to apologize,” she said at last. “I've been incredibly selfish lately, asking about Asch all the time. I didn't mean to use you, but I did, and I'm sorry. I must have hurt you.”

“No, don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong; I offered to talk about him with you.” Ginji was thinking furiously. Something wasn’t adding up. “Is that really the only reason you wanted to come here?”

Natalia shook her head. “Ever since Asch died, I’ve been so lost. For months, I felt nothing. I thought that maybe I never really loved him in the first place. But now I know I loved him. I know that because--” She stopped. Her pulse was quickening, and the blood rushing to her head was making her almost dizzy. “Because I think I’m in love again.”

Ginji froze. Natalia in love? The spark of hope flickered into flame. “You are?”

“I only just realized it.” She laughed. “Now I’m the one rushing into things. You’ve inspired me.” She looked into his eyes. “I’m falling in love with you, Ginji.”

Ginji’s ears were ringing. He must have heard wrong. _There was no way… she couldn’t possibly._

“What?” was all he managed to say.

Natalia was taken aback. Was he uninterested? What if he was disgusted with her? What if she had ruined everything? 

Before she could say anything, Ginji reached out and pulled her to him.

“All this time, I’ve been running away from my feelings,” he murmured, resting his cheek on the top of her head. “But you, Natalia... you dared to run _with_ yours. You’re braver than I am.” He tilted her chin up so they could look at each other. “I’m in love with you too.” 

As he dipped his head to kiss her, the sun peeked over the horizon, lighting the highlands in pinks and golds. Neither of them knew what the future would hold, but somehow, they knew it would be bright.

**Author's Note:**

> And that's that!   
> This is the opposite of a slow burn, but then, Ginji's personality would not allow for a drawn-out love story.   
> I hope you enjoyed reading this and that you now ship it too, hahaha!


End file.
